My world fell apart right after I started a new job. Do I need a fresh start?

Question: My world fell apart three weeks after I started my new job. My husband left me and while I was still reeling from the pain, my teenage daughter informed me she’d rather live with him. I told her absolutely not. The next day, she returned home after I left for work, packed her things, and left.

That night, as I sat in shock, my soon-to-be-ex called to gloat. Even though my logical mind tells me my job had nothing to do with my daughter leaving, the fact remains she left my home while I was at work.

It took me more than a month to pull myself together. During those early days. I cried a lot, even during the workday, and once during a staff meeting. I was distracted, made errors, and missed deadlines. My supervisor pulled me aside twice, and I confessed everything to her. She was remarkably understanding, but told me to “get a grip.”

I’ve since pulled myself together, but yesterday received a new blow, a strongly worded written reprimand warning me if I repeat any of my problem behaviors, I’ll be fired immediately.

Here’s my question: Should I resign and find a new job, where I don’t have this history and can have a fresh start?

Answer: You can, and this may prove your best alternative. If you take this route, you might want to land your new job first, so you don’t risk finding yourself without a job, and alone at home without your daughter. Further, while leaving a problematic history often feels tempting, a quick change tosses you into even more instability.

[Work Advice: An old co-worker is back and publicizing my cringey history]

Alternatively, you can seize the opportunity your employer gave you and create the fresh start you seek. Consider these three facts:

One, your employer didn’t fire you. Instead, they offered you a second chance. This says a lot about your employer—not all employers give new employees the benefit of the doubt.

Two, you wanted this job. That means you assessed it, and while you could have waited for another job offer, something about this position and employer drew you. Do you want to start at ground zero again, hoping you’ll find something better?

Three, we make a new history every day. While we only have one chance to make a first impression, if you immediately and consistently treat your job and coworkers with professionalism, you can create a fresh start with this employer and these coworkers.

Here’s how:

Get back in the game. Hit your emotional reset button. As just one example, your email said, “the fact remains she left my home while I was at work.” You won’t work with full enthusiasm if you hold your job responsible for your teen’s decision. You’ve had a rough month and paid the price. From this moment forward, aim become a better person, employee and mother.

Squeeze value out of what’s happened. Given you’re heading into a divorce and a troubled relationship with your teen, what do you now know to do differently so your emotions don’t swamp you at work? For example, can you decide you’ll treat going to work as a daily eight-hour vacation from the hot mess your personal life has become? Additionally, call in the cavalry — line up a therapist or other support person so you have someone in your corner who can help you stay grounded.

Finally, rebuild trust. You’ve weakened your employer’s and co-workers’ confidence in you. While you can’t erase the past, you can reassure your supervisor and peers you’re once again in it to win it. Let your supervisor know you’re aware your company paid a price for your errors and missed deadlines, and you’ll work hard to ensure they receive their payback.

In short, create your fresh start.