When “Heather” met with her boss to request a week of personal leave, she didn’t intend to spill her deepest secrets. But Heather needed someone to understand — the sleepless nights, the gut-wrenching choice, the unbearable fear of raising a child with birth defects.
Her boss listened without judgment. Still, in the days that followed, Heather couldn’t shake the feeling she had exposed too much. Did her boss look at her differently now? Or was she the one seeing her boss through a new lens — resenting her for not validating Heather’s decision. Heather seethed with confession remorse.
After a staff meeting, “Karla” casually admitted, “I don’t actually believe half of what I said.” When a coworker challenged her, Karla smugly explained she didn’t “trust management” and considered it a “badge of honor” to clock in as one version of herself and clock out as another. After that conversation, her coworkers questioned whether they could trust her to be honest when it mattered.
Oversharing versus hiding
What about you? Do you reveal too much personal information at work? Or do you wear a mask to hide the real you? A November 2024 survey revealed 57% of U.S. employees felt their coworkers don’t know when, where or how to be honest in the workplace. Many described their colleagues as too honest — whether by oversharing personal details (65%), criticizing coworkers and their company (53%) or venting about work issues (52%).
The risks of oversharing
While openness fosters connection, oversharing can erode professional relationships. Consider the potential consequences of allowing your mouth to be an open faucet to your mind:
- Reputation: Sharing your emotional struggles or personal drama may cause others to question your judgment, competency, credibility and emotional resiliency.
- Workplace politics: Confidences can be weaponized and later used against you.
- Discomfort: Your personal disclosures can make others uncomfortable.
- Emotional fatigue: Your coworkers have their own challenges; they may not have the bandwidth or desire to absorb yours.
- Regret: If, like Heather, you overshare deeply personal experiences, you may later feel exposed and judged.
What’s created this cult of excessive, unrequested honesty? Some point to the pandemic, which blurred personal and professional boundaries. Others cite social media’s influence, where constant validation encourages people to disclose everything, no matter how personal.
The value of authentic, honest communication
While oversharing has its pitfalls, research highlights the benefits of authenticity in the workplace. We trust authentic people. We respect those who communicate openly and genuinely. We value those who say what they feel, without putting on a fake face.
Employees who feel safe being themselves experience greater job satisfaction and lower stress.
Striking the balance: Authenticity without oversharing
You can bring your authentic self to the workplace while maintaining professionalism. Here’s how:
1. Integrity
When you’re true to yourself — saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and standing up for what you value — others can trust you.
2. Set clear boundaries
Temper honesty with professionalism by deciding what you can appropriately share and what needs to remain private. Avoid discussing intimate relationships or unguarded revelations of your deepest secrets.
3. Practice situational awareness
Before sharing, consider:
- The audience: What’s your relationship with your colleagues?
- The setting: Is this the right time and place?
- The sensitivity of the topic: Will this make others uncomfortable?
4. Ensure relevance
Ask yourself: Why am I sharing this? If your disclosure doesn’t add value or foster genuine connection, leave it unsaid.
5. Assess risk
Would you be comfortable if this information were shared beyond your intended audience? If the answer is no, don’t share.
6. Balance honesty with tact
Being truthful doesn’t excuse gossiping, engaging in office drama or venting negativity.
7. Positive transparency
Honesty benefits you and your workplace when it involves standing up for what you value, owning your mistakes and taking accountability.
The bottom line: Authenticity isn’t about spilling everything — it’s about knowing what matters, when to speak up and how to do it with impact.